Marla and I were at brunch on Saturday when my cell phone rang. It was Len.
"What's up Len?"
"Nothing. I'm bored. I think I should come up."
Len lives in a little town in Western Illinois where the real estate and cost of living are low but where there's nothing fun to do if you're under, say....80. This leaves him with money to spend but a boring social life. Consequently, he comes up to Chicago a lot of the time and sleeps on my couch.
Marla introduced him to a friend of hers a couple weeks ago, but no fireworks ensued. Len asked Marla to invite a friend and she invited two, among whom Len could have his choice: Pearl and The Troll.
For a guy, it's good to have a 3:2 female-to-male ratio. It gives you a chance to play to the crowd and by playing to the crowd, you increase your social value. Pearl is attractive---Asian, mid-to-late thirties but looks much younger and has that Bay Area California vibe, which is where she is from. If I'm any judge of women (on that the jury is out) she is also a potentially dangerous woman. Not that I have a lot to go on, but I sense a woman used to getting her way who could make things very difficult for a man careless enough to fall in love with her. Not that Len would give a damn.
The Troll, on the other hand, is not physically attractive---she is also Asian, overweight, slovenly in her personal appearance and careless with her clothes. If she were intelligent or said interesting things it wouldn't matter but, alas...I last met the troll after the marathon when she came to my apartment with Marla and would not shut up the entire time----Christ, the banal stuff that came out of her mouth embarrassed Marla too and I had not seen The Troll since that October afternoon.
So, The Troll, Marla, Pearl, Len and I gathered at my apartment and I ordered pizza. I was a little put off that Pearl and The Troll didn't offer to put up any money. Len and I always pay for each other and I knew he'd buy drinks or I'd buy brunch and it would work out and we just roll that way and always have and of course I'd pick up Marla's share being her boyfriend and I probably would have refused the money if Pearl and The Troll had offered to pay but it struck me at the time as presumptuous. Pearl, however, is probably used to having men pay for her and The Troll is not very socially adroit.
And so we were, drinking martinis and beer and eating pizza and The Troll picked up one of my coffee table toys and began playing with it. Pearl asked to see it and as The Troll handed it off I could see that it was broken. It was handed back to me. Now, accidents happen and it's the sort of museum gift shop piece that can easily be replaced so definitely no big deal but The Troll never apologized. She never said I'm sorry.....she just handed it back to me. And averted her eyes.
She was in a bad mood and Len was hanging all over Pearl. Were the two related? As a rule of thumb when you are interested in a girl and she's with a friend or friends, you should win the friends over to your side. Len made no attempt to do this---indeed, The Troll may as well have been invisible as far as he was concerned. I couldn't decide whether to sympathize with Len and say, Len, you've got a tough nut to crack trying to get that girl to be sociable-----or------say, Len, you're blowing it but not showing her any attention at all. It was a chicken-and-egg argument.
Anyway, we went to Nick's and Len continued to drink. And get loud. And hang on Pearl. And drink. And get loud. And hang on Pearl. And drink.....
And ignore The Troll. I decided the argument if favor of the chicken.
Marla and I kissed at some point and Pearl said,
"I wish I had somebody to kiss."
Marla replied,
"You can kiss Len."
Pearl laughed. And The Troll continued to stare into the distance. A few minutes later, it was The Troll who suggested to Pearl that they leave. And they left. And I walked Marla back to my place to get some sleep and went back to Nick's to drink with Len and Drinking Buddy. Len was the next one to go home and pass out.
The next morning Len's eyes were pasted shut and he was in no shape to join us for brunch. He's coming up this weekend and I may ask Marla if she'll introduce him to someone else.
And Len: go easy on the booze. And pay attention to her friend, if there's one there. Remember, it's the friend who suggests that it's time to go home.....
Marla introduced him to a friend of hers a couple weeks ago, but no fireworks ensued. Len asked Marla to invite a friend and she invited two, among whom Len could have his choice: Pearl and The Troll.
For a guy, it's good to have a 3:2 female-to-male ratio. It gives you a chance to play to the crowd and by playing to the crowd, you increase your social value. Pearl is attractive---Asian, mid-to-late thirties but looks much younger and has that Bay Area California vibe, which is where she is from. If I'm any judge of women (on that the jury is out) she is also a potentially dangerous woman. Not that I have a lot to go on, but I sense a woman used to getting her way who could make things very difficult for a man careless enough to fall in love with her. Not that Len would give a damn.
The Troll, on the other hand, is not physically attractive---she is also Asian, overweight, slovenly in her personal appearance and careless with her clothes. If she were intelligent or said interesting things it wouldn't matter but, alas...I last met the troll after the marathon when she came to my apartment with Marla and would not shut up the entire time----Christ, the banal stuff that came out of her mouth embarrassed Marla too and I had not seen The Troll since that October afternoon.
So, The Troll, Marla, Pearl, Len and I gathered at my apartment and I ordered pizza. I was a little put off that Pearl and The Troll didn't offer to put up any money. Len and I always pay for each other and I knew he'd buy drinks or I'd buy brunch and it would work out and we just roll that way and always have and of course I'd pick up Marla's share being her boyfriend and I probably would have refused the money if Pearl and The Troll had offered to pay but it struck me at the time as presumptuous. Pearl, however, is probably used to having men pay for her and The Troll is not very socially adroit.
And so we were, drinking martinis and beer and eating pizza and The Troll picked up one of my coffee table toys and began playing with it. Pearl asked to see it and as The Troll handed it off I could see that it was broken. It was handed back to me. Now, accidents happen and it's the sort of museum gift shop piece that can easily be replaced so definitely no big deal but The Troll never apologized. She never said I'm sorry.....she just handed it back to me. And averted her eyes.
She was in a bad mood and Len was hanging all over Pearl. Were the two related? As a rule of thumb when you are interested in a girl and she's with a friend or friends, you should win the friends over to your side. Len made no attempt to do this---indeed, The Troll may as well have been invisible as far as he was concerned. I couldn't decide whether to sympathize with Len and say, Len, you've got a tough nut to crack trying to get that girl to be sociable-----or------say, Len, you're blowing it but not showing her any attention at all. It was a chicken-and-egg argument.
Anyway, we went to Nick's and Len continued to drink. And get loud. And hang on Pearl. And drink. And get loud. And hang on Pearl. And drink.....
And ignore The Troll. I decided the argument if favor of the chicken.
Marla and I kissed at some point and Pearl said,
"I wish I had somebody to kiss."
Marla replied,
"You can kiss Len."
Pearl laughed. And The Troll continued to stare into the distance. A few minutes later, it was The Troll who suggested to Pearl that they leave. And they left. And I walked Marla back to my place to get some sleep and went back to Nick's to drink with Len and Drinking Buddy. Len was the next one to go home and pass out.
The next morning Len's eyes were pasted shut and he was in no shape to join us for brunch. He's coming up this weekend and I may ask Marla if she'll introduce him to someone else.
And Len: go easy on the booze. And pay attention to her friend, if there's one there. Remember, it's the friend who suggests that it's time to go home.....
5 comments:
true dls, everything u said, very true.
I luv this blog.
In Len's blog, I made a comment of he has only written 46 chapters and he's bored. It wasn't a bad comment (in casualties).
He replied with people who comment as anonymous doesn't have credibility in his book. I replied in his lastest stating basically why have anonymous as an option and would it make a difference in signing it as it's only a name.
I hope you don't treat your readers who sign anonymous as they are nothing.
Hello Ms/Mr. Anonymous: Credibility is attributed in life based on character, comments, accuracy, legitimacy, etc.
People who use poor grammar, spell poorly, and overreact to a blogger's comments need to grow a spine.
Do you really think that people such as Len and DLS blog so that others will read them and comment? Or do you suppose Len and DLS blog because they are bored?
Why do you comment? What purpose does it serve you?
I enjoy feedback, anonymous or otherwise. I have a responsibility to my admittedly (few readers) to be honest, even when it makes me look bad. I count on you to tell me when I fall short of that.
i enjoyed your post - again :)
btw - those girls that didn't offer to pay for the pizza (?) i agree...how rude. pretty much any girl knows she should at least offer.
anyway, it's friday, hope u have a good one :)
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