Reunions, part I

My old college girlfriend M recently moved back to Chicago from Manhattan, where she worked as a legal recruiter. For background, see:
http://thechastenedgentleman.blogspot.com/2007/05/are-men-naturally-snoopy.html

M is a few years younger than I am. She is a slender woman of Filipino descent. We met in college where we were both involved in student government. She has recently battled back from cancer, and has recovered. She looks as good as she used to.

It was the day before New Year's Eve. We met at Nick's and she mentioned her old boyfriend N's recent marriage.

"I was really surprised he married someone who's Jewish."

"Why?", I asked.

"Because Jewish women are.....not attractive."

"Excuse me?"

"Asian women are objectively more attractive than Jewish women. Jewish women tend to be overweight. Asian women are thin. Also, Jewish women are just not....pretty."

I should mention here that M dated N on and off throughout the years beginning when she was in high school and continuing through law school. I don't think she ever got over him. I looked at her to see if she was joking. She was not. I decided to feel her out about the types of guys she had been dating in New York.

"A lot of Ivy League athletes. I don't click with arty guys, but I like guys in finance."

"As long as they can keep up with you sexually?"

"Yes. You always could."

"So could you."

I showed her some recent pics from my rock climbing trip, and she told me that I had gotten better looking as I aged. I then moved in to kiss her. She moved away.

"Uh....no. Nice try, though."

"Thank you. I try."

"It's funny, though. Most of my male friends want to hook up with me."

I thought, well, you do send out a hook-up vibe, but I didn't say it. Instead I smiled and said,

"Well, you still look very good. That's probably why."

My ego didn't get crushed by the rejection and it was nice seeing her again so why not leave her feeling good about herself? We shared some good moments and some shitty moments in college, but there are no grudges or hard feelings on my part or on hers. She's an ineluctable part of my past.

I brought out some old pictures of us together and talked about my own dating experiences. Then she opened up about hers. From there, we talked about our careers. And our lives. We talked well into the evening.

After she had left, I found myself wondering how we had managed to date at all. I had always admired her academic drive and ambition, but I considered her one of the least introspective women I've ever dated. She enjoyed the fact that I was well-read and took her to concerts and plays, but was appalled by what she considered my lack of ambition academically. She thought my friends were coffee shop phonies and I thought hers were shallow prigs. Yet, when everything was said and done, our relationship was the one that defined my college years.

And I wouldn't trade a moment of it for anything.