Reunions, Part 2

I dated J during the summer before my senior year of high school, and slightly into the fall before we broke up. We met at a tennis tournament. She was two years behind me---one of those geeky, talkative high school girls who join the debate team and write poetry and whose lack of physical grace is endearing when remembered years later. I was living in a small town consisting of about 6000 people while J lived in a nearby university town and there wasn't anybody living in my town who was quite like her.

J was a virgin when I began dating her and she was a virgin when we broke up. I really wanted to be her first, and part of it was my competitive nature. I'd like to think I've overcome a good deal of that as I've gotten older, but any adolescent boy who says he doesn't care about being a girl's first is lying. Or gay.

We remained friendly post breakup and when she called me to tell me that she had lost her virginity to her new boyfriend I was devastated. She invited me to a party at her parents' place, and after arriving I scoured the faces of the guys present, trying to guess who it was. In between, I made small talk with a short, dweeby looking boy in thick glasses. J came over, gave me a hug and introduced me to the boy. He turned back to the food table and she said,

"Well....what do you think?"

"About?"

"...That's him."

My lips spread into a smile and I started laughing.

"Oh, David, please don't...."

She looked as disturbed as I have ever seen her.

"Please don't...oh, David...he's really nice.....please don't laugh..."

She ushered me into a private room and reassured me that he was a really nice guy. I spent the rest of the party flirting with one of her friends. I had a great time.

We stayed in touch until she left for a prestigious east coast women's college. I saw her when she came to Chicago in 1994 and we had lunch. She had come out of the closet during college and was living as a lesbian. She was also still writing poetry.

We got together four years ago when she was in Chicago for her book tour---a published volume of her poetry. She was living in Paris, teaching literature and writing courses and pursuing her doctorate from the Sorbonne. She was with her mother and a friend of hers and we grabbed dinner at a local Thai spot and caught up on our lives. Then it was off to the next city on her tour.

She decided to come to Chicago for New Year's this year so four of us got together: Her, a friend of hers she had previously dated and at whose house she was staying, me and Marla. It was New Year's Day and it was unbearably cold and it was snowing hard all day and because my favorite independent coffee house is now a bank and my backup was closed we met at Starbucks and drank coffee and talked for hours and the conversation flowed easily and freely.

We decided to catch Sweeney Todd and grabbed dinner and drinks afterward and J told us about her life in Paris. I thought, here is a genuine success story. She's not rich, but she's doing what she loves and living in what is arguably the most beautiful city in the world. I compared my reunion meeting with her to my meeting with M two days earlier---M had become very status conscious from her time in New York and it was odd, remembering how motivated she had been in college by her political ideals to see her so consumed by money as an adult. J had developed into a charming woman who seemed comfortable in her own skin----a woman with a variety of interests, a great conversationalist and someone who understood the genuine value of the finer things in life.

We parted company after a couple of hours in the restaurant (and when is the last time I spent hours in a restaurant?) and I hugged her good night. And thought to myself, I hope I'm lucky enough to see her again soon.