Online Dating

There are two new women on the horizon of my life---Ginger and Zsa-Zsa.

I met both of them online. I should explain that I don't troll for women online. I have a myspace page on which I write a slightly safer version of my blog which makes me look a bit more likeable than this one does. I have also posted the absolute best picture of myself that I could find. So, women usually find me.

I'd say that half the women I date I have met in bars and the other half I have met online. The online women tend to be older. Usually, they're from the suburbs or outlying areas, divorced (or still married), often with children. Not as likely to get out to the bar scene in Wicker Park but desirous of doing so. I've met some younger, local girls online through myspace but they tend to be more the exception than the rule.

Ginger is a 35-year-old redhead who lives across the border in Wisconsin and has a big interest in photography. She is in the process of leaving her second husband and has no children. She has sent me a couple tastefully-done bikini shots and she has a very nice body for a 35-year-old. We are getting together in two weeks.

Zsa-Zsa is a dark-haired real estate agent from a northern suburb. Her listed age is 48 and, looking at her pictures, I think: No Way. If she looks like her pictures, she is the fittest, most attractive 48-year-old I have ever seen who is not either a model or an actress. Her pictures convey poise, confidence, sensuality. She knows how to apply makeup. We have flirted with eachother over the last week and the next step will be a meeting.

In my experience, the way to attract a woman online is through restrained eroticism---you want to be perceived as sensual, but not horny. And every woman on myspace has stories about guys who get too horny too fast. During IM conversations, mention restaurants you enjoy, places you've visited. If she's like most women I've met online, she's been married to, or had many dates with, the beer-swilling, sweatshirt-wearing football nut. She wants romance, wine, picnics in the park---you need to come across as a man who appreciates the finer things and can share them with her.

Don't be the beer swilling football nut.

When you compliment her, it's pretty clumsy to tell her she has a nice ass, or great tits. You can mention that she has a nice figure. Compliment her facial expressions or her choice in clothing. Women like to be noticed for the clothes they wear. Tell her she looks fun. Tell her, for example, that you'd like to share a bottle of wine with her. Ask her questions.

When you get to the cyber-sex stage, show some class. If you haven't met her yet, telling her that you want to put your fingers deep inside her dripping wet pussy as an opening line may not get you the response you want. You may want to put down the Penthouse forum.

Instead, set the scene: tell you you'd like to look in her beautiful eyes and kiss the back of her neck, inhaling her aroma. Breathe her in. Run your hands over her face...her shoulders...look in her eyes, feel her heart quicken. Slowly undress her. Be elaborate. Her response will tell you where to go. Some women enjoy raunchy banter, lots of "fuck" "pussy" and "cock". Some shrink from reference to specific body parts and want to be made love to on a beach, the wind gliding over their naked bodies. A man has to be discerning.

My preference is to meet women in bars, but a major advantage of online dating is that you are working with a broader canvas---there is more time. There are fewer distractions. You are not shouting over a jukebox or a loud band. And it's easier to filter someone out before you get to the meeting stage.