Of Humorous Bondage

A friend of mine mentioned that she had developed an interest in body modification. She obviously wasn't talking about herself---she sports no tattoos and I'd be surprised if she ever went further than having her tongue pierced in college. Her interest was purely that of a spectator. I told her I'd send her a link to the "interview with a nullo"---anyone with an interest in or fascination with body modification should read it.

And no, I'm not posting it here. You'll have to google it on your own time.

For those of you not familiar with the term, a nullo is someone who has been completely de-sexed. A man who has had his penis and testicles removed. In the interview, the nullo describes how he became heavily involved in the gay s&m scene and how his master coerced him into getting snipped and chopped. After reading it, my friend emailed back expressing her horror and wrote,

"Remind me never to get into the b&d scene."

Ah, but the b&d scene is the shallow end of the pool! The safe waters, with safe words and soothing before and after conversations. I'm in a sexual relationship with Submissive Liz that involves bondage and discipline, but I'm very very tender and caring with her pre-and-post-coitus. You have to be.

Domination and submission is a game, and should be a game to be properly enjoyed. If it stops being fun for one of the parties, it's no longer a game and it's no longer fun. If you are the dominant partner, your submissive is placing her trust in you and that's a lot of responsibility.

My first foray into b&d was in college. It involved a second date with a girl after our first date had involved raunchy sex and scintillating badinage. She painted herself as a very kinky, experimental girl and while we were in the dorm shower together I brought out a pair of handcuffs I had purchased for the occasion. She started crying the minute I clipped them on. I hurriedly removed them and watched in horror as she grabbed a bathrobe and stormed out of the shower room. It was a learning experience for me.

My next foray was more successful---it involved a high-school girl who was visiting her college-aged sister. A buddy and I talked her into bridge-jumping into the Iowa River and at the end of the night she came back to my apartment. Over the next several days, we explored unchartered territory, hers and mine, and discussed domination games. She demurred, so I thought that was the end of it. That night, however, she woke me up for sex and started calling me master mid-coitus. And I have to say, the stream of words that came out of her mouth both frightened me and got me incredibly excited.

My college years also gave me a taste of the other side of the coin: a friend and sometime makeout partner of mine, a brilliant person and first-rate violinist, was currently in a relationship but visited my apartment one evening with a quarter ounce of hydro and after smoking a bowl or two dared me to strip for her. I told her she'd chicken out before I got naked, she told me I'd chicken out at my underwear and so I undressed. She remained fully clothed.

Not knowing what to do next, I suggested that I could masturbate for her. She found the idea exciting and before long was telling me what to do and how to do it. She was totally in control and I have to be honest---the encounter was scorching hot.

Since then, I have had many encounters involving transfers of power, I have tied up and been tied up, I know when to push a situation and I know when to back off and be gentle. There are people who do it as a lifestyle and all it takes is a quick perusal of Craigslist to find them. Angry, frustrated men and insecure, self-loathing women will always find one another. For me, it's not a lifestyle. It's a game. And the best part is, I get to keep my penis and testicles attached.