Slurs

My job involves dealing with the investing public, which very often involves no small test of my patience and understanding. Yesterday, I spent a good part of my day dealing with a monumetally difficult client and after I hung up the phone, the words that escaped my lips were:

"I'd love to just pop that little cocksucker right in the face."

My co-workers were amused to hear me use the phrase cocksucker, as I'm easily the most left-leaning guy in the office, except for the guy in the mailroom, and the only one to support gay marriage rights. I felt kinda bad about using the term, and if there is a closeted or not gay or lesbian in the office then I have contributed to a hostile work environment.

However, I was so mad that I said it again.

"Cocksucker!"

Last week, I was sharing a drink with Drinking Buddy and we were discussing the Ozzie Guillen/Jay Mariotti feud. Ozzie Guillen is the hot-headed manager of the White Sox and Jay Mariotti is the most obnoxious sports columnist in the city, which is saying a lot. Ozzie Guillen referred to Jay Mariotti as a "little faggot," prompting a public outcry from the gay and lesbian community.

"Well," said Drinking Buddy, "he's right. Jay Mariotti is a little faggot."

We laughed. Drinking Buddy is also liberal and pro gay rights, but I understood how he was using the term. As boys, the way we insulted someone was to call his sexual orientation into question. Faggot, cocksucker, queer, I called and was called all of these names according to the adolescent pecking order. But it's strange---I would never think to insult someone based on his religion or ethnicity. Yet in a moment of anger, an offending client is a cocksucker.

Maybe I'm not as progressive as I give myself credit for being.