Fly, Fly Away....

The day after my weekend with Christy, I received an email to my gmail account and one to my myspace with the same message:

"Please call me as soon as you can. I'm confused about something. Christy."

This would mean, of course, an end to my peaceful morning. When a woman you've been seeing is confused about something, a long conversation is usually required to straighten out the confustion. I called her.

"David, what am I to you? I was online with Len and I told him that I felt disrespected by your friends. I asked him what he thought of them."

OK. Len knows Urban Melissa and Guatemala. Len likes Urban Melissa and Guatemala. Be very careful here. When in doubt, consult Dale Carnegie.

"I told Len that I'm not your wife, but I'm not your buddy either and they shouldn't have talked to you like I was your buddy. He said, no, you're not his wife and you're not his buddy. What are you, Christy? What are you? He made it sound like I was your whore!"

Shit.

"Christy, have I treated you like a whore? Ever?"

"No, but that's what he was insinuating!"

Shit.

I had to leave for the office, but told her I'd call her that night to talk.

I got home from work and planted myself on the sofa when a text message came through from Len: Christy is psycho.

Shit.

I called Len and he told me that she was wigging out over IM. Asking him who else I was fucking, if I took other girls I fucked into Nick's and out with my friends, questions along those lines. He said he could hardly type a word in edgewise. I decided to get the phone call over with.

"David, I'm a respectable woman. I'm not a whore and I don't need to be disrespected. Your friends didn't treat me with respect and Len is making me feel like a whore. I'm not a whore! Maybe....maybe.....you know, I'm not stalking you. I can date plenty of men around here. Maybe....we should....just...stop...seeing each other..."

"Christy, it seems that you want more than I can provide. I've never treated you like a whore, and I think I've always shown you respect when we were together. I understand and I'm sorry you feel disrespected. Take care."

She was looking for more reassurance, of course. However, I was exasperated with her neediness during the weekend and her complaining to my buddy about our mutual friends. She gave me an out, and I took it.

I did receive an email at work from her to the effect that she was in a bad mood and that she hoped we could still be friends and put this behind us. I gave a vague answer.

Last night I was at a jazz bar with Urban Melissa, her boyfriend and a few musicians. I told Urban Melissa about the developments.

"David, I felt a little bad for her----she didn't look like she was having a good time, but how could I interact? She spent the whole time hanging all over you. Besides, that's how we roll. She should accept that."

Urban Melissa was right.

Then, Urban Melissa shared her own recent relationship story: her boyfriend, who was onstage playing the saxophone, had gotten to know the girl at the door. He had complained about his back, and the girl at the door informed him that she was in massage therapy school and needed people to practice on. So....would it be OK with Urban Melissa if he got a massage from the girl?

He told Urban Melissa that the girl was unattractive and heavy, but she was neither---a fact that Urban Melissa discovered when she visited the club that night.

I told her that if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't be happy with my girlfriend getting a massage from a bouncer or bartender at a club where she performed. But---how to make that clear without looking needy or insecure? That's the problem. We hatched it over, but were unable to come up with an anwer. Maybe you, Gentle Reader, have an idea?.....