Risky Sex

I was chewing the fat with a couple of the boys awhile back when the subject of women came up. One of my long-time friends, known for his sophistication and intelligence, offered this tidbit about an outgoing paramour:

"Sex just got tedious after awhile. I was, like, can we have sex without me having to strangle you this time?"

Huh?

Apparently, his girlfriend liked to be choked into unconsciousness during their lovemaking!

My friend's movie-watching experiences have never been the same. Anytime a strangulation is depicted onscreen he can say to himself, and anyone else watching:

"That's not how it works. You have to continue to squeeze well past the point of unconsciousness before anyone is actually killed."

I'm a very open minded guy. I have never had a partner suggest asphyxiation and, truthfully, I'd be extremely leery of giving it a go. I have this mental image of myself in a courtroom, apologizing to the family of some poor girl who lies on a hospital in a vegetative state and begging the judge to show leniency to my sorry, repentant ass.

But it got me to thinking about the subjects of sex and danger; there really is nothing quite like the thrill of crossing societal taboos to turbo-charge an otherwise stale sex life. Mar always had a penchant for risky, semi-public sex and I knew of a downtown building that was in the process of being converted from an office complex to condominiums---consequently, many of the offices were empty. I made an excuse to the doorman downstairs, selected an empty office complex and we enjoyed a lunchtime tryst. It was fun, but I was not entirely comfortable when she insisted on copulating on my fire escape during daylight hours---this was too close to home and I didn't really want the passers-by below to see us, to say nothing of my neighbors.

When I was going through puberty my mother (of all people!) warned me about the dangers of fellatio. It seems that when she was in college an unfortunate fellatrix had choked to death during the act and the recipient was subsequently arraigned on murder charges. It has the ring of an urban legend, although I'm sure that it has probably happened during the history of recorded sexual activity and I'm happy to report that I have never denied a lover the opportunity to come up for air.

When I was in college myself it was said that a bisexual couple, of whom I was marginally aware, would play a game that tested the responses of random strangers. After nightfall the man would tie his naked girlfriend to a tree and hide in a nearby bush. At the approach of a male passerby the girl would moan erotically and her boyfriend would whisper,

"Fuck her. She loves it."

According to the lore, the man in question usually would.

A lot of people are turned on by the idea of what used to be called rough trade, and the appeal is not limited to gay men. A high school classmate of mine, a pretty, well-liked National Honor Society type of girl, started dating a complete neanderthal thug during her junior year. Her friends were shocked and no one was entirely surprised when she went to court for a restraining order. And I trust that my readers have all known someone like this at some point in their lives.

I recognize the appeal of danger in myself as well---the excitement offered by exotic women and lurid affairs provides a welcome couterpoint to the button-down reality of my corporate existence. The essential necessity is knowing where to draw the line. Truthfully, I'm still not sure where that point is....