Dating and Kids

OK, fans, absolutely nothing interesting happened to me this week from a dating/sex angle. Nothing. I'm hitting high gear with the marathon training and my longest run this weekend was 14 miles. It's pretty damn tiring.

Last night I left Submissive Liz at the bar and walked home after 1 shot. I had to get up and run and a good night's sleep was the only thing on my mind. I will therefore entertain you with an anecdote about a reunion encounter I had over the holidays. First, some background.

The first time I wound up in bed with a girl who agreed to have sex with me, it was a disaster: neither of us new what we were doing. After poking and prodding and getting nowhere, I started to lose interest. The whole thing seemed like too much work and I was getting sore. I can only imagine how painful the experience must have been for her.

What was especially disheartening was the disappointment that registered on her face.

Three months later, I finally consummated the act with a slightly older girl who was much more experienced and had fallen madly in love with me. The fact that she was so into me removed any trace of first-time anxiety, and I'm happy to report that we fit like a glove. The First had long dark hair and eyes that were almost black. She was zaftig, but curvy. Over the next four months I gained a greater familiarity with the female body than I ever had before.

This last winter, this girl who had been generous enough to take my virginity contacted me via myspace: she was back in school, getting a degree in social work, single and living with her 11-year-old son.

Since she lived near my hometown, we agreed to get together over the holidays for dinner. I suggested a few restaurants, but she said she'd rather make dinner at her apartment.

So, the day after Christmas I arrived at The First's apartment and she opened the door.

Wow.

She had....gained quite a bit of weight in the nearly 20 years since I had last seen her.

She introduced me to her son. He was very shy. I was taken a little bit by surprise, but I just assumed she couldn't get a babysitter for the evening. Having a kid around does inhibit conversation quite a bit, and I realized dinner conversation would not involve reminiscenses of drinking parties and what-not.

The First flirted heavily with me throughout dinner, which consisted of pork chops and fettucine alfredo---I was flattered, but the conversation tended to be dull. Or was it her? I mentioned an article in The Onion about the government removing the wiki-constitution because 'contributors' had been loading it down with profanity, pornography, ASCII art, and mandatory-assault-rifle-ownership amendments. She responded that it was another dumb thing the government was doing.

I had to tell her that it was a joke. And fill her in on The Onion.

After dinner, she led me into her bedroom to show me something on her computer. She closed the door and kissed me and we started making out. Yes, she had gotten fat over the years. Yes, I found her conversation dull and insipid. However, she was my first. Most guys will understand.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I had momentarily forgotten about her son. Assuring me that she'd be back, she left the room. When she returned, she told me that he wouldn't be bothering us anymore.

I told her that it felt a little weird, having her son in the next room. She assured me that there was nothing to be ashamed of and that it was important for him to see his mother as a woman, with needs of her own. She said this as she was unbuckling my pants.

"Besided," she added, "he was snooping and discovered my vibrator. He's a smart kid. He can figure things out."

This, and the fact that her breasts sagged more than I've ever seen any woman's breasts sag, put a big damper on my libido. Not a total damper, however.

She worked on me relentlessly, and I managed to stay erect and finish the act.

After all, she was my first.

We drifted off to sleep. Early in the morning, I was awakened by the sound of her snoring. It was....loud and relentless.

I made an excuse that I had a lot to do that day, and we parted just as the sun was starting to come up.

Sometimes it's better to leave memories undisturbed.