My Biggest Dating Blunder This Year Part 2

The very next day, I received a phone call from Restraining Order asking me to remove the salacious comment she had left on my myspace page. I told her it was already gone. She asked me what I was up to, and the conversation took off from there. She told me she had just been upset the morning of her psychiatric appointment because when she asked me to go with her, I had declined.

Of course I had. I had things to do and the prospect of sitting in the waiting room at a suburban psychiatrist's office didn't sound all that appealing.

Her reaction also gave me an inkling that she was used to getting exactly what she wanted from men. And this is always a very bad sign.

She was leaving for her parents' house in another town to chill out for a few days (outside of her part-time modelling gig she didn't appear to have many responsibilities) but wanted to get together for a dinner or movie when she got back. I agreed and we resumed our IM conversations for a few more days.

She also began plotting her rise up my myspace friends list, constantly badgering me to move her into my top 8, my top 4, etc. I'm usually happy to accommodate someone who sleeps with me in any way I can (I once told Submissive Liz that she could smoke in my apartment. "After all," I said, "you went down on me.") but I don't like to be badgered and, besides, she was getting awfully territorial with the woman who was at the time my #1 friend. At this point it was restricted to a few catty comments but I worried where it might lead.

She moved back to the city, and I began getting late night calls for phone sex. She was more articulate in her erotic banter than she was in her day-to-day conversations and I was happy to go along, but she started getting, ummm....clingy. She suggested finding an apartment together so that I could bring dates home and we could have threesomes all the time. As a twenty-five year old man, I would have thought that I had landed in the paradise of all my adolescent wet dreams. As a 38-year-old, however, I was more aware of warning signs even if I often chose to ignore them. Keep in mind that we had only had one actual date at this point.

She even sent me a text that said: Davey, I wuv u. I didn't know what to make of this.

We made plans to get together on a Saturday night. Friday I had a date with someone else.

During my Friday date, she called twice. Dating protocal dictates against taking calls from someone else so her messages waited until the next morning.

When I did check my messages, I heard RO's breathy, stoner voice cancel our date. I called her back to ask what was up.

RO: I called you last night. You didn't pick up the phone and you didn't call me back.

Me: I'm calling you this morning. It won't surprise you, I hope, to learn that I don't always answer my phone and that I sometimes turn it off? I think the next morning is a reasonable time frame.

RO: Well, I was just on myspace last night dropping friends I haven't talked to in awhile. I wanted to talk to you.

Me: Was I dropped?

RO: (pause) You'll have to find out.

Me: OK. Whatever. Look, it was nice talking to you.

RO: Another thing....I hacked your number one friend's myspace account. It's very easy. I didn't hack yours because I respect you but I hacked hers and I read your letters to her. That's why I'm upset.

(A ridiculous desperate lie, of course.)

Me: I see. What bothered you so much in those letters?

RO: Just.....things.....

Me: Don't you see anything wrong with hacking someone's account?

RO: Davey....lighten up.....

This went on until I finally hung up on her. She was upset that I hadn't called her back right away and was trying to pick a fight.

That night at Nick's I got a call from her. She would forget the whole thing if I would move her to the top of my myspace friends list. I refused, of course. I received a text minutes later:

Don't get fired at work, you jerk.

Followed by:

My dad says hi.

Followed by:

I will forward our chats and emails to everyone in your office.

Followed by:

I want my candles back. The police are on their way.

I was getting a little unsettled at this point so I went home. She called me and told me that she was filing a police complaint against me. I asked why. She responded:

"You knew I was under the care of a psychiatrist but you chose to fuck me anyway."

What can possibly be said in response to a statement like that?

She gave me the name of her attorney and suggested I hire one. Then the emails started. She wanted her dad reimbursed for our unused theatre tickets. She had told her dad about our phone sex sessions. Her dad said "hi". She would forward our IM sex sessions everywhere. She would cause me to lose my job.

I went to work in an apprehensive mood. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

Three days later, she sent me an email. It read:

"Gandhi said an eye for an eye will leave the world blind. I am sorry. I was having a breakdown. I have talked to my doctors and have decided to stick to my principles. I mean you no harm. I did forward our emails to Mar. I am truly sorry."

So she had wound up in the hospital again.

Two days later she sent me another email, asking me to acknowledge that she meant me no harm. I blocked her from my myspace account and have not heard from her since.