An Unpleasant Incident at a Beergarden

Mar called the other day to ask if I wanted to join her for a few drinks and afterwards retrieve her rice cooker from my apartment. I agreed to meet her at a beergarden that used to be a gas station (a heavy hipster hangout, but avoid using the bathrooms at all costs) and we sat down and engaged in platitudinous small talk for half an hour. Because the establishment in question doesn't take credit cards, Mar walked across the street to use the ATM.

Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. I glanced at my watch. Twenty. I called her cellphone, which rang from the purse sitting on her chair. Twenty-five. I asked for the check. Finally, at the thirty minute mark, Mar appeared.

"OK, Mar, is there a reason you just left me here for a half-hour?"

"Oh, David, I ran into someone I haven't seen in awhile....."

"Don't you think that's being inconsiderate? You leave to get cash across the street, I'm sitting here a half-hour?"

She started crying as the waitress approached.

"I loved you David. I loved you and I could never measure up to your high expectations!" The tears were flowing freely now and the waitress shot us each an inquisitive look. "You had such high expectaions that I could never reach......"

Here she switched gears.

"I gave you chances, David, I gave you so many chances and you blew them...."

I excused myself and walked home.

A little after midnight the sound of my phone jarred me from my sleep.

"Hello, David," said a cheerily upbeat voice, "Mar here. Are you sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Well, I came for my rice cooker but since you're sleeping I won't make you get up. Have a good night sleep."

And so I did.