Top 5 Humiliating Dating Moments

5) Freshman year of college. I had hooked up with Kail a week earlier, and knocked on the door to her room after lunch. The door opened and a disheveled Kail explained that she had been napping. "Great," I replied, "you won't mind if I grab one of the beers we picked up yesterday." I entered her room and found Dave, another guy from our humanities class, sitting on her bed and hastily putting on his shirt.

4) 27th birthday. Danielle was a law student doing a summer internship at a downtown firm. I had spent the night at her place five days previous, but this was really our third "date." We were playing I never with my roommates Tim and Ted and Danielle offered, "I'm not sexually attracted to anyone in this room." Danielle and I drank but she kept looking at Ted. I went to use the bathroom and heard her ask Ted, "...were you lying when you didn't drink on that last question?"

3) Junior year of high school. Tina, from a neighboring town, had broken up with me by U.S. mail a week prior. Four of my buddies and I climbed into a car with a few bottles of Mad Dog and Night Train and headed for a dance in her town. We were drinking heavily, and I ended up getting sick by the side of the road. We stumbled toward the dance hall and I saw Tina. I lunged toward her, slurred a greeting and put my arm around her. "Get away from way....eeeeewwww......you stink!" was her response. My buddies laughed and my friend LaVerne, probably as drunk as I was, asked her if she'd like to fuck. We stumbled back to the car before a fight could ensue and by God's grace made it safely home.

Postscript: The following week, LaVerne got a letter from her explaining that she didn't know what to say to his "question" at the time but really really wanted to get together with him. He made sure, of course, that I knew about this.

2) Last spring. Mar had an unemployed male friend named Chris who used every opportunity that her back was turned to be rude to me. I thought to myself: I understand your wanting to get into my girlfriend's pants but there's a mimimal level of respect you better show me. I had gotten off work and was still wearing my coat and tie. Mar went outside the apartment for a moment and Chris said, "...you gotta get this tie off and relax," roughly loosening my tie. This was too much. I looked in his eyes. "You don't like me very much, do you?" I said. Finally, I thought, let's get this on the table. "I heard you David! What did you just say to my friend? How dare you attack him like that!" With that, Mar launched into a shrieking tirade about my belligerent display toward her friend and suggested that maybe I had just best go home. All of which was observed, with obvious satisfaction, by Chris.

1) My 29th year. Claudia presented herself as a dentist from Colombia. We met on the train. Within three weeks, she had moved in. Within ten days, I learned that Claudia was involved with 2 other men that I know of, although there certainly may have been more. I will say also that caller ID is a lifesaver. In an effort to understand just what had happened and what we were dealing with, the two other men and I sat down over cognac and talked. It was like a meeting of shell-shocked combat veterans. Ten years later, one of those guys is still my very good friend.